PUPPY PRISON

For those of you wondering where I've been, well, I've been in jail. That's right, I did three whole days of cold, hard time without benefit of counsel or trial by jury of my peers.

For reasons still unclear to me, my own Mother locked me away AND LEFT ME at puppy jail (they call it a "pet resort"--HA! Who are they trying to kid?). Confronted with such treachery, I, of course, did the only thing I could to fight this injustice and went on hunger strike.
OK, so I had my own private villa with a sliding glass door (so I could keep an eye on the crafty guards). My cell had just a single cot (no mattress!) with some warm wooly thing on top. The TV in my room had no remote (the nerve!)--All Animal Planet all the time! Yeah, the guards took me out for exercise four times a day, but their schedule wasn't regular enough for me to plan an escape. Just when I thought I had figured out their routine, they forced me into the interrogation center and tried to bathe a confession out of me!

As they washed my face, I came close to breaking...I felt so bad that they came close to getting to me...
Just then, my Mom came and bailed me out. I'm still not so sure I trust her, but it seems she had to leave me to go to some conference or something. She brought back some pictures of giant white and black rats that she thought I'd like (yeah, right). She said she visited a zoo, which I think is just a minimum security animal jail. Mom is acting so strange. I mean, why lock me away, then go to see some giant panda rats in some southern hoosgow?

One thing I must remember from this experience: When the blue bag with wheels comes out of the closet...RUN!